just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Princesses don't give blow jobs
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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