My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Randomize