The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
did you just send me my own nude
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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