Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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