this beer tastes like vomit already
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
