Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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