I am midnight drunk by noon
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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