we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize