Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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