my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
