i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
