with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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