Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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