why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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