I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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