I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize