oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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