We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
