do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
