Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
