Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
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