This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
