YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
