dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
