There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
