New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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