Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
