Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
