If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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