Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
