had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
