It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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