I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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