If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
