I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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