The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
