what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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