she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
