This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
