well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
So much Jack, so little girl.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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