dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize