My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
