No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Randomize
