my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
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