Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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