I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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