The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
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His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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