Will you blow on my dice?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
