I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
