Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
