i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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