i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
