i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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