Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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