Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
