I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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