either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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