i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
