If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
